


the pain of love

by writer_bird



Category: snonk
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Hurt, M/M, emory reaches 300, felix is a protective idiot, these babies just need hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26661877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writer_bird/pseuds/writer_bird
Summary: soulmate au with emixit hurts
Relationships: Felix West/Emory Hayes
Kudos: 4





	the pain of love

Moran and Ola were performers, but they were storytellers, too, and many times Felix had heard them recount the story of the soulmates. The two, so intertwined from birth, before they even knew each other, were so connected that they felt what the other felt. The pain. The best part, the story went, was that it only  _ started _ when you touched your soulmate for the first time.

“That sounds horrible,” Felix remembered Jackie saying with wide eyes the first time the two of them had heard the story.

“Not horrible,” Felix had said quietly. “It’s sweet.”

Felix of today didn’t quite agree with Felix of the past. They thought it would be horribly inconvenient to have to feel some other idiot’s pain 24/7.

Besides, Felix was never falling in love, so that wasn’t going to be a problem.

Until it was.

On the mountain. Emory, the annoying, the idiot, the sword guy, grabbed Felix’s arm as they stepped out of the cell, intent on  _ leaving _ .

They didn’t notice that anything had happened until, about an hour later, sudden pain flared in their lower back. Even then, they thought it had been just some random shit, because they didn’t have a bruise or anything.

And then Emory pulled up the hem of his shirt and displayed the purple and yellow bruise. “Mach 5 snowball.”

_ Shit _ .

Felix immediately knew what it was.

This  _ joker _ was their  _ soulmate _ ?

It couldn’t be.

But it was.

The fucking story was true? It had to be. There was no other explanation for it.

Still.

They should test it. They grabbed a sharp icicle from the side of the mountain when Blizzen wasn’t looking and stabbed it into their palm. A little ways awake, they heard Emory shout- “SHIT what was that?”

Felix nodded slowly, dropping the icicle and clenching their hand around the material of their shirt to stem the bleeding.

It was true, then.

It didn’t change what Felix did or said, except for one thing. They were just a little more careful.

When Helios -  _ fuck that bastard _ \- was standing there, smirking, throwing Jackie in their face, and Felix looked at him…

They could have punched him. Broken their promise to themself. It would have been  _ so easy _ .

But they saw the anger, the hate, in Helios’s eyes, and they knew that Emory was just outside, and they didn’t want-

They turned away from Helios and walked outside.

Later.

Confronting Helios again. About Helia this time.

They saw the danger. The dagger in Helios’s hand. They couldn’t stop it in time.

_ I’m sorry, Emory _ .

Emory still didn’t know. Felix hadn’t found a way, or reason, to tell him. No point, anyway. Felix could avoid getting hurt just fine. Normally.

They knelt on the ground, hand over the wound as it dripped blood, and all they could think was  _ fuck fuck fuck I’m sorry Emory _ .

They still hadn’t explained to Emory. They didn’t know what Emory thought about the one time he must’ve felt a horrible stabbing sensation in his gut, but Cyrystar had faded the wound quick enough that hopefully Emory thought it was… Felix didn’t know. Imagination.

Why weren’t they telling Emory?

Maybe they didn’t want to speak the word  _ soulmates  _ out loud. Maybe they thought he would laugh at them.

Either way, it  _ wasn’t a problem _ . Felix just wouldn’t get hurt.

Not a problem, right?

Until it was.

Until Jamie.

The sword hovered at Felix’s throat, and they looked down the blade into Jamie’s eyes, and all they could think was  _ fuck, no, Emory _ -

And pain exploded.

They blacked out. Their last thought-

Emory.

They woke up on the hill. Emory was on his hands and knees next to them. Felix knew immediately that he’d carried them out. They rolled over and immediate  _ fucking _ regretted it as pain exploded in their chest, in their lungs, in their stomach.

Emory groaned and doubled over too.

“What the  _ fuck _ is happening?”

_ Tell him, Felix. Tell him. Who cares if he thinks it’s fucking stupid, he has a right to know what the hell is happening to him. _

“I-” Turned out it didn’t matter if Felix  _ wanted  _ to tell him or not, because they couldn’t, because the pain- their lungs- they couldn’t- breathe-

Emory was retching next to them. Felix tried to force out words but they- wouldn’t- come-

It was just Felix and Emory on the hill. They’d made it out of the house, apparently, somehow, someway-

And then Clearris was there.

They grabbed Emory by the shoulder and hauled him up. “You’re coming with me,” they said, their voice smooth and calm and  _ so fucking icy _ . “We have unfinished business.”

_ No _ . Felix tried to stand. Pain split through them and they crumpled. They heard Emory scream and  _ the worst part was he didn’t know why. _

Felix’s head was spinning. Their entire vision was blurry. They had to watch, they  _ couldn’t do anything but watch _ as Clearris walked Emory back towards the house. The third floor. Second from the end.

Felix knew what was about to happen.

_ They couldn’t stop it _ .

And then a hand was on their wrist. They looked over. Crystar.

_ Thank gods. _

Within a minute they were healed. They jumped up immediately, wobbled, almost crashed over from the head rush, and took off towards the house. Their heart pounding in their ears.

They remembered Clearris’s words from earlier.  _ I enjoy even numbers. Three hundred _ .

No. No. No.

Emory had gone through  _ fucking enough _ .

They didn’t make it in time.

They were just at the front door to the house, just saw the guards, just hand reaching for the doorknob, when

the pain

exploded

It stabbed through their lower back and they screamed, falling to their knees.  _ Fuck fuck FUCK- _

An identical scream had come from the house. Third floor.

Felix was gasping, choking, this was too much pain- “ _ Emory-” _

They tried to stand. Fell. There was no sword in their back, no blood, nothing, and yet the pain was all encompassing, all there, it could get worse, it couldn’t possibly-

A stab in their side. They crumpled. Hands and knees. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck- they couldn’t form a coherent thought. No one could feel this much pain and still be alive.  _ No one _ .

It would have hit them, had they been able to  _ think _ , that no one really could. Emory was no longer screaming.

But Felix’s head was  _ filled  _ with screaming.

A moment passed. Or maybe two. Or maybe a thousand. Felix didn’t know. There was just the pain. They might have bitten their tongue. They tasted blood.

“The hell is with you?” one of the guards asked them. He just looked amused. Felix barely heard him.

Their breath came in ragged gasps. One word repeating in their mind. Emory. Emory. Emory.

_ Three hundred _ .

They could kill Clearris.

They could-

More pain. Another stab in the back. They screamed again.  _ Emory how the hell- 296 times before- _

They were sobbing, shaking, they couldn’t stop, they couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything,  _ please make it stop _ -

Another flare in their side, and they knew the moment Emory died the second time. They couldn’t explain how, but they did.

_ I have to help, I have to- _

_ Not three hundred, please, he can’t get to three hundred _ -

They tried to stand up again. Their body was in agony, it was fire, except it was  _ worse  _ than fire, and worse than that was the knowledge that Emory was suffering exactly this and  _ fuck soulmates god damn it fuck this- _

Everything was spinning. It was too much.

They couldn’t move.

It happened twice more.

Emory  _ died _ twice more.

Felix wished they could die too.

At some point Crystar ran past Felix. Into the house. Felix was still crumpled in the dirt outside it trying to form a coherent thought to get up to move to not be useless not be helpless move goddamn it he needs help-

Something happened inside the house. Felix didn’t know what.

But Crystar got to Emory. Somehow.

She healed him.

And healed Felix, too.

They could breathe again.

Emory came out of the house. He looked like shit.

He looked at Felix.

When he spoke, his voice was unsteady. “Felix.”

Felix sat back on their knees, every part of them shaking. “Yeah.”

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“Soulmates.” Emory said.

“Yeah.” Felix didn’t look at him.  _ It sounds stupid it sounds dumb I know I know I know I know -  _ they didn’t say any of it. They just waited. Waited. Waited.

“You idiot,” Emory said, after a long minute.

Felix looked up. “What?”

“This is the kind of thing you tell someone,” Emory said. Exasperated. Of all the things Felix was expecting, it wasn’t this. It wasn’t  _ exasperation _ . “What, did you think I just wouldn’t care? You think you can just not tell me that and let me go run off into danger without knowing it affects you too?”

“I didn’t care,” Felix snapped. “For fuck’s sake, Emory, I wasn’t going to hold you back from shit.”

A moment.

“You’re an idiot,” Emory observed.

“You said that.”

“You can’t just do that. You can’t just think it doesn’t matter if you get hurt.”

Felix was quiet.

“I’m serious,” Emory said.

“Yeah. Whatever.” Felix stood up. They didn’t want to have this conversation. Not now. Not ever.

Emory caught their arm.

They looked at him.

He looked at them.

“Felix.”

Felix tried to summon a smirk but it didn’t come. “What.”

Emory pulled them into a hug.


End file.
